McCarty Party 2015: Back to the McFuture

McCarty Party 34 was one hot and steamy affair. Unfortunately, we mean this literally rather than figuratively. After a month and a half of the most perfect summer weather you could imagine, Mother Nature apparantly decided she’d had enough of our annual shennanigans and unleashed the full fury of an Ohio summer on our unsuspecting patrons.

The first event to feel effects was, of course, the McCarty Party golf outing. From all reports, the temperature on the course was so brutal that after the second hole most (some say all) of the participants quit even pretending that they know how to golf… and simply drank their way to the final hole. Some of the golfers later tried to refute this, but upon their immediate return to Camp McCarty all they managed to drunkenly slur was, “I need a pork chop sandwich… and another beer”.

The theme for the party was “Back to the McFuture”. We don’t remember why. Frankly, between the heat and the alcohol, a lot of McCarty Party 2015 is pretty hazy. That’s never happened before. We could have gone back in time to see how we chose the theme, but the day after the party our DeLorean got run over by a damned old train.

The biggest surprise of the party came when we began running the traditional McCarty Party events for which we are famous. For the first time in recent memory (some say ever… but with the amount of beer we’ve consumed over the years, it amounts to the same thing), we have a reigning female champion in two of our hallowed events. Take a bow cousin Dani! Her first win came in the Lager Relays. No biggie… it is after all a team event (“two guys, two girls, four beers…, etc.”). The shocker was when she beat multi-time winner and reigning champion Dale McCarty to win “Taking the Bras Off the Debutantes”. Dani celebrated. The crowd gasped. Dale cried. Truly, a victory for the ages.